Great airline in many respects, but should you fly Aloha Airlines as I did today, you needn’t worry about getting trapped in a seat next to a chatterbox stranger. The airline’s announcement system is going to be that person whether you like it or not. For what must have approached a half hour at the beginning and the end of the five-and-change-flight, blaring (so loud it woke me up from a dead sleep while I was wearing Bose noise canceling headphones) messages ranging from advertisements to general missives on the islands and their many splendors poured from an overhead speaker, while images played on drop-down televisions.

This was no ordinary main cabin programming. It went on longer and at a louder volume than I have ever experienced. I probably sound like a cranky old man kept up past his bedtime, but seriously, this goes down as the single time in my life I have actively wished I were wearing a hearing aid. Because I would have turned it off. (I mean, lei off already)

At least they handed out warm chocolate chip cookies and milk during the second programming session. Screw pretzels and those nasty snack mix things. Travelers should start a chocolate chip cookie revolution.