It seems fancy schmancy Shutters on the Beach Hotel in Santa Monica may have shuttered any hopes Lindsay Lohan has of returning to the hotel, where she reportedly stayed recently with then-boyfriend and fellow rehaber Riley Giles. If the reports are true (and that’s anybody’s guess), Lohan may just be win the distinction of being an even worse hotel guest than Courtney Love.

According to the rumor mill, the hotel will not be welcoming Lohan back anytime soon. The reasons? Apparently, hotel employees entered the celebrity’s suite to find ciggies peppering the carpet and “a bloody syringe” on the bedside table. (What’s that they say about dating people you meet in rehab? Oh, yeah. I think it goes a little something like, “DON’T DO IT.”) The only plausible explanation, other than rehab being a massive failure, is that Lohan’s father must have stopped by for some QT with his daughter.

Luckily for the rest of us, the posh hotel is still fair game. The hotel’s luxurious spa has many celeb fans - Madonna and daughter Lordes among them.

It’s your lucky day. Thanks to the wonders of the Internets and handheld video cameras, you can watch Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson ditch Hollywood to experience the refreshing waters of an irrigation ditch in Peru. (If you want to see a blurry Wilson and Harrelson participate in their own impromptu version of a wet boxer contest, we suggest jumping to minute 5 in the video.)

The pair touched down in Cuzco on Wednesday night and have since shocked the world by staying in a cheap hotel and stripping down to their skivvies to cool off in the aforementioned ditch, located in the Andes mountains. With Wilson and Harrelson visiting this week and celebs from Cameron Diaz to Olivia Newton-John (who’s probably still A-list in Peru) reportedly there this year, this South American country is fast becoming the next uber-hip destination for rich Americans seeking exotic alternatives to the average vacation.

We all know celebrities request some special perks when they bunk at the world’s best hotels. While most requests we’ve read about fall into the scented candles and Fiji water category, Marilyn Manson’s must-haves during his recent stay at the 5-star Dorchester Hotel in London’s Mayfair neighborhood go far beyond the norm (and if you think that’s an accident, think again). The dark and angsty performer reportedly (Marilyn Goes Batty) asked employees at the hotel to outfit his penthouse accommodations with bats, black drapes and beverages the dark, red hue of blood. Now, we could deal with blackout curtains and red wine in our hotel suite any day, but bats? All I have to say is: guano.

Rapper Pimp C (a.k.a. Chad Butler) of musical duo UGK was found dead today in his room on the sixth floor of the Mondrian LA Hotel in West Hollywood. According to reports from TMZ.com and the Associated Press, the L.A. County Fire Department arrived at the hotel in response to a 911 call and discovered the 33-year-old in bed. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

While many recognize Pimp C and rapper Bun B, the other member of UGK, as pioneers in the Southern hip-hop movement, they are best known in the mainstream for appearing in hit songs from Outkast (International Player’s Anthem) and Jay-Z (Big Pimpin’). The cause of death has not yet been announced.

Yup, reality TV star Kim Kardashian (who made her way onto television thanks to esteemed accomplishments like starring in a sex tape and being born with a near-scandalous badonkadonk) has caused quite a ruckus with her claim that she was robbed of almost $50,000 in personal belongings at the John F. Kennedy International Airport earlier this month. Kardashian has garnered lots of sympathy press (I mean, it’s just always so sad when a girl is separated from her Cartier watch) with her claim that valuables like diamonds, a laptop and a digital camera were stolen from her bags while fans and Delta airline employees surrounded her to get autographs and pictures. Yesterday, the New York Post reported that authorities suspected that the undeniably attention-hungry star had fabricated the incident as part of a publicity stunt. But today, TMZ.com turned up with documents it says prove Kardashian’s innocence.

While you chew on the disturbing news that Kardashian actually has enough fans to mask a robbery in progress, consider her plight a tale of what not to do while traveling through major airports: don’t leave your bags lying around - especially when they have diamonds in them. Sheesh.

Gasp! In a shocking development, Paris Hilton went out to dinner and then went to a hotel this week. Crazy, wild, wacky stuff. Especially since she stepped completely outside of the Hollywood norm by choosing the Roosevelt Hotel for her final destination. Because so, so few celebrities visit the Roosevelt Hotel these days. It’s almost as dead as the Chateau Marmont and the Four Seasons Beverly Hills….

The mildly intriguing part? The blond ex-con was took her new boyfriend Alex Vaggo (reportedly a Swedish tourist whom she rescued from a cheap hostel in L.A. earlier this year and has since proceeded to cart around like a version of Tinkerbell with decent pecs) to meet the parents. The foursome dined at Madeo restaurant - an uber-trendy and, by some standards, rather overpriced Italian joint on Beverly Boulevard.

Super-tall bombshell Nicole Kidman was spotted in London this week leaving Claridge’s Hotel London with her beloved Keith Urban. The pair stayed at the 5-star London hotel while in town for the premier of Kidman’s film The Golden Compass, which hits U.S. screens next Friday. While bloggers are making a big deal out of her outfit (meow!), we’re more interested in the hotel where she and Keith bedded down during their stay in London town.

The 203-room Mayfair hotel features a mixture of Victorian and Art Deco rooms, as well as the Gordon Ramsay at Claridge’s restaurant headed up by Chef Mark Seargeant. While you probably can’t star in your own film and marry a recovering alcoholic country star (well, it might not be that hard to accomplish the latter), you can have your own star-worthy stay with the Claridge’s Luxury Break gift experience. That is, of course, if you’re willing to pay the celeb-style rates. For 875 GBP (which includes regular service charges and VAT), you and a guest receive a two-night stay in a superior king room and English breakfast for two each morning.

Celebrity Travel News 11.23.07

Backseat Britney

First, folks, the bad news. Britney Spears didn’t do anything outrageous this week. In fact, she actually did something smart and responsible. She let someone else drive her and her sons around Los Angeles. I am sure the feet on several paparazzi breathed a sigh of relief at that news.

But the semi-responsible Brit sighting leads us to our question of the week: why is Britney Spears always at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills? I mean, it’s a great hotel and all, but why does she need to be there multiple times a week, every week. The girl lives in Malibu.

Anyway, you can watch her rolling through the parking lot – this time in the backseat with her kids – in this video from x17.

Brad Bails with Blond

Now that we’ve got that burning question out of the way, we can move on to what is, for better or for worse, the week’s biggest celebrity travel news. Brad Pitt reportedly left a post-premier party for wife Angelina Jolie’s new film Beowulf and headed to the Peninsula Beverly Hills Hotel with – gasp – a blond and some other unidentified person. Though no one has proof or even vaguely convincing circumstantial evidence to back this up, the rumor is that Brad flirted with the aforementioned blonde, Angie got upset and Brad left with the other woman and was seen exiting the hotel around 4 am.

Pissed Off at the Polo Lounge

David Hasselhoff is back in the blogs after reportedly causing a stink at the Beverly Hills Hotel restaurant the Polo Lounge last week. Though everyone in Hasselhoff’s camp denies the rumors, onlookers say they saw Hasselhoff get huffy and storm out of the lunch after complaining to his agent about all the crap jobs he’s been getting recently. You know, it’s probably completely his agent’s fault. ‘Cause I’m sure the shirtless, drunken hamburger incident had nothing to do with it.

Meanwhile…

On Tuesday, Lindsay Lohan was spotted exiting a Ritz Carlton in Manhattan. We’re not sure whether the hotel is question was the Ritz Carlton Battery Park
or the Ritz Carlton New York Central Park. In fact, all we can really confirm is that she stood on a Ritz Carlton rug and has really long fake blond hair that we hate and wish she would leave alone because her red hair was so much prettier.

Also on Tuesday, Tara Reid reminded everyone that she still exists. Proving that not every celebrity cares what she looks like in public, a frumpy Tara Reid flashed the paps with her thong at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday.

Virgin America’s Secret

If there were any doubt that Virgin America is vying for the title of sexiest airline, this should put it to rest.

Celebrity Travel News 11.16.07

Foot Fetish

The Four Seasons Hotel Beverly Hills figured heavily in the news this week, thanks to Britney Spears. The nutty singer reportedly ran over a photographer’s foot as she was attempting to drive out of the hotel parking lot. You can see it all with your own peepers below.

While some cry foul and accuse the pop star of poor driving (this was apparently the third foot she’s run over this month), anyone who knows anything about the paparazzi knows that those guys are practically plastered to the side of her car wherever she goes. They have a right to snap away in public places, but it’s their own darn fault if they get their feet banged up in the process.

Also at the Four Seasons this week? Another blonde pop star known as Shakira. But the paps didn’t snap any pictures of her, as far as we could tell. Instead, her visit got reported, thanks to a Fox News writer who chanced upon her in the elevator. We hear Shakira spent the ride obsessing about her looks and asking anyone who would listen whether she looked okay.

Queer Eye for the Traveling Guy

Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Los Angeles Times writer Valli Herman visited the W Los Angeles – Westwood and gave the swish new interiors designed by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy alum Thom Filicia the thumbs up. Our take? The new environs look, um, exactly like every living space from the television series. And of course, plenty of throw pillows and candles. Because throw pillows and candles make everything better.

French Connection

Jennie Garth – if she still counts as a celebrity – was spotted lifting her glass in honor of Beaujolais recently at the Paris Las Vegas Resort. We got way too much Garth way back when she was a real celeb during the halcyon days of Beverly Hills 90210 (will there ever be a character as unintentionally funny as Steve Sanders?), so we’re going to show you a photograph of the Paris Las Vegas Resort pool instead:

Dude Looks Like a Lady

Tomorrow night, travelers to the Bay Area can get a load of celebrity judges Sandra Bernhard, author and personality James St. James (a.k.a. club kid who piggy-backed off convicted murdered Michael Alig’s notoriety), Peaches Christ and Anna Conda at the annual Miss Trannyshack Pageant, which, if you don’t know, is a very San Francisco affair featuring some of the best-dressed dames who aren’t really dames this side of Texas. Actually, better make that anywhere.

Dumb Tattoo News

Celebs from Julianne Moore (love her) to Heath Ledger (so-so) descended on the Bowery Hotel in Manhattan this week for a screening of the film I’m Not There, which features a bevy of big name actors playing different aspects of Bob Dylan’s complex personality. The big news from the event? Heath Ledger sported a new tattoo during a screening. It’s of a dragonfly. Fascinating. He might as well have gotten a dolphin inked around his ankle while he was at it. We would have preferred something a little more hardcore. Like skulls or something. Or maybe Jake Gyllenhaal, though that’s really more Reese’s territory these days. Also in attendance? Richard Gere, Bruce Greenwood and a wasted looking Todd Haynes, the film’s director.

Celebrity Travel 11.09.07

Things have been relatively quiet in celebrity travel news this week, a few things of note did happen. Just don’t get too excited.

Jen’s Haunted House

Halloween may have already disappeared in the rear-view mirror, but Jennifer Anniston is still acting like it’s in full swing. The actress is reportedly staying at the Heathman Hotel in Portland, Oregon while filming upcoming movie Management (which also stars Woody Harrelson, whom we absolutely love for being such a certifiable nut and total Hollywood iconoclast).

While the five-star Heathman does not actively promote its designation as a haunted hotel, the current hotel manager acknowledged the hotel’s ghostly goings-on, but said guests shouldn’t be worried. Apparently, the supernatural guests at this Portland lodging option are the friendly sort. Considering the location, they’re probably the ghosts of hippies past.

Nicky On the Block

In news we already knew but lacked the legal documents to prove, it looks like Nicky Hilton’s Nicky O Hotel is dead. But this time, it’s deader than dead. Instead of just not happening, the hotel project now has the embarrassing tarnish that only bankruptcy can bring. According to court documents obtained by TMZ, a judge has ordered the Breakwater hotel that was supposed to become the first Nicky O Hotel property to be sold at auction to make up for some of the bungled project’s $60 million of debt.

High-Energy Holmes

Last weekend, Katie Holmes reportedly treated daughter Suri to a posh tea party at the Carlyle Hotel’s Bemelmans Bar on Saturday. The next day, the star ran in the New York Marathon.

Sheesh, the girl just might qualify for the most energetic woman of the year award. On second thought, I’m starting to think she might be a robot.

Bada Bling

Pockets were getting padded at the El San Juan Hotel and Casino launch party held in Puerto Rico last weekend. Sopranos actor Robert Iler (a.k.a. “AJ”) reportedly won $10,000 playing craps at the resort, which was celebrating the completion of its $100 million renovation project. Other celebs at the party included Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo and Michael Lombardi.

Speaking of the Sopranos, we hear that Lorraine Bracco was hanging out in the VIP lounge at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, FL.

Also last week, the Gramercy Park Hotel was the much-talked-about site of Ashely Olsen and Lance Armstrong’s reported spit-swapping session. This week, the celebrity magnet hosted Duran Duran, Richie Sambora, Roberto Cavalli, Fran Drescher and Donovan Leitch, among others.

Here’s hope the celebs get into some better rumbles next week.