How’s this sound for a good time: pack your bags, say your goodbyes and prepare yourself for a hop across the pond without knowing whether you’ll be allowed to board your departing flight or whether you’ll have to schlep yourself and the aforementioned luggage all the way back home before the night is through? It’s something no one in their right mind would do - unless, of course, you’re one of those people who likes a good challenge, a little suspense and a free trip to London.

Such is the premise behind the United Airlines Suitcase Party, to be held on March 30th in Denver at Pints Pub in celebration of the airline’s inaugural flight from Denver to London. But you can’t win the two-day trip to London (we hear they tuck a nice little piece of jet lag under your pillow each night) just by showing up and looking pretty. Oh, no. You’ve got to put your creative skills to work decorating your suitcase. A panel of judges will pick a winning suitcase (and the human attached to it) to board a plane to London that very night. The winner will be allowed to bring one travel companion along for the ride.

Hectic as a two-day trip to London may be in reality, they sure do make it sound like a good time in the press release:

“We are asking Denver to show off its creativity and civic pride at our Suitcase Party, and one lucky winner will hop on that evening’s flight to London,” says Mike Scanlan, United’s general manager at Denver International Airport. “Nothing more than a passport, a decorated suitcase, and an understanding boss will be needed to enjoy a trip to London.”

We predict that you will also need underwear, a toothbrush and twice the amount of money you’d spend over a weekend in the U.S.

May the best suitcase decorator win!

Pack Creatively and Bring Your Passport to Pints Pub

Want a good value on your next vacation? Sure, we all do. Phoenix, shown here from atop Camelback Mountain, was recently rated one of the top places for good travel deals. According to the Hotwire Travel Value Index released yesterday, these are top U.S. cities for travelers to hit up when they’re looking to stretch their vacay dollars:

1. Phoenix

2. Dallas-Fort Worth

3. Orlando

4. Denver

5. Atlanta

6. Los Angeles

7. Washington, DC

8. Kansas City

9. Miami

10. Milwaukee

Frankly, I’m surprised to see L.A. and Miami on the list, as I was just last week hunting for decent deals on hotels in both cities and came up surprisingly short. I mean, yeah, you can stay somewhere cheap, but it often means staying somewhere really bland, really out of the way or really sketch. And that’s not what I call a “value.” In my mind, a good value is something a traveler can get excited about. Not just an inexpensive place to bunk in.

That said, the HTVI rates cities on more than just existing hotel rates. The range of activities in a city and availability of affordable entertainment also figure in. And both Miami and L.A. have plenty of affordable entertainment options (beaches, museums, landmarks). Then again, both cities also happen to have some of the country’s most expensive and exclusive restaurants, bars, retail shops and clubs. Really, in the end, whether or not you’ll get a good value in in any of the cities on the list depends heavily on what you enjoy doing when you travel.

Guess what? You can’t. At least not while you’re using the Denver International Airport’s free wireless Internet access. Boing Boing is one of the sites that the airport has reportedly blocked. The Vanity Fair web site is another. Ostensibly, the airport’s decision to block certain web sites is meant to protect children from accidentally spotting porn on the laptop screens of pervy travelers, but they seem to have gone a little overboard. Also, the airport mentions nothing about the policy on its own web site.

As Jaunted points out, it “discovered” the censorship months ago and also found similar censorship practices in place at some hotel chains.

Denver’s Airport Wi-Fi Blocks Racy Sites

The TSA has begun testing family lanes at Denver International and Salt Lake City airports. While supporters of the experiment say this may help ease congestion at airport security gates, some call this kind of trial “the ghetto-ization” of anyone with children. I’m not sure how I’d feel if I was traveling with children, but I think I’d rather head through a security lane populated by other people with children than endure dirty looks and snide comments from a bunch of crabby, impatient travelers without kids. Of course, who knows? If everyone with children is routed through one security lane, then travelers with children might very well end up with the slower, inferior service - and that wouldn’t be fair. While the TSA is just testing the new procedure at the moment, the practice could spread to other airports if the trial proves successful.

TSA Tries Airport Security Lanes for Families

How’s this for bizarre not-quite-celebrity travel news? As TMZ.com reports, the step-brother of social climbing The Hills star and tabloid charmer Heidi Montag died late last week after falling off the roof of the hotel where he worked.

Eric O’Hara was apparently trying to remove snow collecting atop the 4-star Steamboat Grand Resort Hotel Conference Center when he slipped and fell. We’re sure Montag is filled with grief over the incident. We just hope she can refrain from somehow turning it into a photo op with her cheesetastic faux-fiance Spencer.

If you’re going to be in New York this weekend and you love travel, consider checking out the New York Times Travel Show, a veritable smorgasbord of travel information from resorts, hotels, spas, cruise lines, tour operators, tourist agencies and adventure travel companies from around the world. Along with vendor booths and live entertainment performances representing a vast array of cultures, the show features a Taste of the World Pavilion filled with international cuisine and cooking demonstrations, a Spa Pavilion offering sample treatments and discounted packages at spa resorts, travel author appearances and special travel deals offered to folks brave enough to book their next vacation on the spot. And with travel experts Rick Steves, Arthur Frommer, Ian Wright and Stephanie Abrams - among many others - leading seminars, the show offers a rare chance for face-to-face learning from leading peeps in the industry. Cost: $15.

Thanks to Inside Edition for investigating what is, perhaps, the most burning question facing travelers today:

Was Your Hotel Room A Former Meth Lab?

Apparently, hotels are becoming a hotbed of activity for nefarious meth makers. Inside Edition went so far as to interview one person who had found traces of meth in a whopping six - yes, that’s one two three four five six only - Denver hotels. We’re glad investigative journalism is still alive. We’re also glad that Inside Edition offered up these tips for travelers:

- There are rarely signs that your hotel room might have been used as a meth lab. But experts say you should look out for unusual stains on the walls and ceiling. They may be red or purple in color.

- Also look for burn or drip marks on the walls.

- Meth cooks often disable smoke detectors, so make sure the one in your room hasn’t been deactivated or covered with duct tape.

- Rooms that have recently been used to cook meth may have an unpleasant chemical odor.

- Many local police departments list the addresses of former meth labs online.

- If you suspect your room was used to cook meth, don’t be afraid to ask to be moved to a new room.

Hmm. Unusual purple stains on the walls. And I thought that was just my last hotel’s excuse for art.

Yeah, last minute travel can be cool. But it can also leave you cash poor, especially when you’re talking high-season travel in major vacation destinations. But as with most things in life, a just little edumuhcation can go a long way. Case in point: Kayak.com’s Fare Alerts.

Create a Fare Alert (or 12) on Kayak.com or SideStep.com for the summer getaway(s) currently sequestered in your noggin by clicking on the “Get fare alerts for this trip” link on the top right-hand corner of the flight results page. You can track fares for specific dates, a flexible span of time (e.g. summer weekends or, say, the month of June) or an entire region (e.g. Europe). When your daily or weekly Fare Alert (you choose how often it arrives) touches down in your email inbox, you’ll be able to make informed travel decisions.

Depending on what you ask it to track (specific dates, flexible span of time or even top cities in a region), each Fare Alert can show you:

- How much the fare for specific dates has increased or decreased in dollars since the last alert

- The airfare history for your trip dates based on searches made by Kayakers over the past 90 days

- A snapshot of prices in Kayak.com’s matrix view, so you can quickly compare prices by carrier and number of stops

- The lowest fare available during a specific span of time (e.g. the next four weekends)

- The best fares available for popular destination cities in a region you want to visit (e.g. Africa)

Who knows, maybe you’ll still pay craptons to travel to the most expensive resort on the hottest island right in the middle of the high season. After all, it’s high season for a reason. But at least you’ll be pimping it out with full knowledge of your unbridled American excess. Just remember the wisdom of G.I. Joe.

(**Editor’s note: Yeah, Kayak.com owns us. You wanna make something of it? I’ll have you know I was surreptitiously using Fare Alerts to aid in making my personal travel plans long before Kayak.com bought our parent company SideStep.com in December. Nepotism, bias, blah, blah, blah. Fare Alerts just make good travel sense.)

Shoutout to Denver International Airport for joining the ranks of free airport wireless Internet zones. Passengers can now access the Internet for free from any part of the airport. The ad-supported service is managed by FreeFi Networks.

Denver International Airport Offers FreeFi Networks’ Free Wi-Fi Service to Passengers

Last Friday, U.S. snowboarding champ Shaun White (a.k.a. The Flying Tomato) got into some hot water over his antics in the gameroom at the Beaver Run Resort in Breckenridge, CO. The 2006 Olympic gold medalist was caught on hotel security video chasing a female companion with a pool stick before removing a fire extinguisher from the wall and discharging its contents onto the gameroom floor. It seems his shoes - and not his fiery red hair - were what identified White to the Breckenridge po-po. According to The Smoking Gun, police were able to match the tread pattern from the bottom of White’s shoes to the prints left in the dust from the extinguished extinguisher.

If you were to visit the Beaver Run Resort, we’d suggest skipping the gameroom entirely and heading for the Beaver Run Spa’s outdoor patio complete with hot tubs and Watsu water therapy pool overlooking the mountains. Rather hit the slopes instead? Then you’re in luck. The resort also offers ski-in, ski-out access to the Beaver Run Super Chair lift and the Quicksilver Six at Breckenridge.