Travelers worried about the effects of a Northwest-Delta merger can stop fretting. The New York Times reported this morning that members of the Delta pilots association received a letter announcing that merger negotiations have been called off. It seems seniority issues among the thousands of pilots at both airlines were just too gnarly on both sides for the negotiations to continue. With the merger off the table, travel experts are speculating that the airlines will instead turn to other cost-saving measures, including service cuts and fare hikes (which Northwest did earlier this week).

Pilots’ Talks Apparently Fail in a Northwest-Delta Hookup

When a handsome bull is in the room, it seems some folks just can’t keep their hands to themselves. Such was the case with Bodacious the Bull, a life-size bronze statue that once marked the entrance to celebrity chef Mario Batali’s new-ish steakhouse Carnevino, located in the Palazzo Las Vegas Resort Casino Hotel.

On multiple occasions, the restaurant witnessed female Vegas-goers groping, climbing and otherwise engaging in “inappropriate fondling” activities with the bull while their co-conspirators snapped pictures.

Whether it was his well-defined musculature or ample rear that attracted them, we shall never know. After a spate of incidents, one of which allegedly involving George Clooney’s girlfriend Sarah Larson, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reports, management at the restaurant confirmed this week that the bull has been moved to one of the restaurant’s back rooms.

But Carnevino wasn’t trying to protect Bodacious and his prominent posterior from molestation at the hands of casino-crazed vacationers. Instead, the restaurant cited legal and safety concerns as the reason for the bull’s relocation.

Bodacious Moved for Decency’s Sake

And another one bites the dust:

Northwest Hikes Fares

On Friday, we blogged that United hiked fares by $50 on some domestic flights.

As usual, one airline’s decision to charge higher prices has had a domino effect. Continental Airlines announced on Friday that it would match United’s lower fares. Other major airlines are expected to follow suit.

United, Continental Increase Round-Trip Fares as much as $50

Must have overlooked this news the other day, but v. glad to have found it today:

American Airlines and Virgin America Promise In-Flight Broadband

No word on exactly when the services will debut. But they’re not free, so the airlines will no doubt make their availability obvious just as soon as they go live.

Travelers, brace thyselves. What you’re about to read is likely to please you about as much as a stick in the eye. Last night, United Airlines hiked domestic fares as much as $50 to compensate for rising fuel costs. FareCompare’s Rick Seaney views the airline’s decision to “throw down the gauntlet” as a challenge to other airlines who fear increasing ticket prices by such leaps and bounds.

But while United may be stepping away from the pack with its proverbial gauntlet, we just feel like they’re going medieval on us travelers. (I won’t mention the fact that I recently read in Wired magazine that ticket prices are actually cheaper today on average, when you account for inflation, than they were two decades ago. Because then I couldn’t complain).

Fare increases depend on the flight distance and route, but range from $4 to $50. Expect to see those troublesome $50 hikes on routes where United doesn’t compete with low cost carriers.

The news comes just one piddly week after United announced additional fuel surcharges of $6-$10 on domestic round trip flights.

In other news, it’s Friday. So that’s something.

United “Throws Down the Gauntlet” with Fare Hike

When the Queen of England personally sees to your opening ceremony, you know you’ve arrived. The monarch’s presence at today’s opening of the much-anticipated Terminal 5 at London Heathrow International Airport shows just how important the new structure is in the eyes of the British, as well as harried travelers everywhere.

To be sure, it’s an opening peppered with superlatives. Part of the busiest international airport in the world, the $9 billion terminal is the largest free-standing structure in all of the UK. In addition to being the first terminal to subject domestic travelers to fingerprinting, it will also house the world’s first Tiffany & Co. airport boutique and the Gordan Ramsey’s first airport restaurant (Plane Food).

For the time being, the terminal is the exclusive territory of British Airways. The airline has high hopes for the new terminal. It expects 30 million passengers to pass through its gates each year. And it’s even gone so far as to estimate a mere 10 minutes as the average time for passengers to move from the terminal’s entrance through check-in and security to reach the departure gates.

Terminal 5 officially opens to the public on March 27, 2008.

How’s this sound for a good time: pack your bags, say your goodbyes and prepare yourself for a hop across the pond without knowing whether you’ll be allowed to board your departing flight or whether you’ll have to schlep yourself and the aforementioned luggage all the way back home before the night is through? It’s something no one in their right mind would do - unless, of course, you’re one of those people who likes a good challenge, a little suspense and a free trip to London.

Such is the premise behind the United Airlines Suitcase Party, to be held on March 30th in Denver at Pints Pub in celebration of the airline’s inaugural flight from Denver to London. But you can’t win the two-day trip to London (we hear they tuck a nice little piece of jet lag under your pillow each night) just by showing up and looking pretty. Oh, no. You’ve got to put your creative skills to work decorating your suitcase. A panel of judges will pick a winning suitcase (and the human attached to it) to board a plane to London that very night. The winner will be allowed to bring one travel companion along for the ride.

Hectic as a two-day trip to London may be in reality, they sure do make it sound like a good time in the press release:

“We are asking Denver to show off its creativity and civic pride at our Suitcase Party, and one lucky winner will hop on that evening’s flight to London,” says Mike Scanlan, United’s general manager at Denver International Airport. “Nothing more than a passport, a decorated suitcase, and an understanding boss will be needed to enjoy a trip to London.”

We predict that you will also need underwear, a toothbrush and twice the amount of money you’d spend over a weekend in the U.S.

May the best suitcase decorator win!

Pack Creatively and Bring Your Passport to Pints Pub

The first non-stop flight from LAX to the Middle East touches down this September, when Emirates airlines plans to launch daily flights between the West Coast city and Dubai. The 16-hour flight will include a stop for plane changes, but will otherwise be direct.

At the moment, judging from a look this morning for flights from San Francisco and Dubai, a traveler would need to spend between 20 and 33 hours flying to reach Dubai from the West Coast, with connections in either Atlanta, Paris, Amsterdam, Zurich, Hong Kong, etc.

The addition of this new route certainly makes reach this part of the world faster and more convenient for travelers based on the West Coast.

Emirates to Make LAX its Third US Gateway

And now for the winner in the strangest vacation souvenir category…. A traveler spooked Munich airport security yesterday when she arrived fresh from her Brazilian vacation en route to Naples with none other than her own brother’s skeletal remains stuffed in her luggage. But this was no sicko crime gone awry. The woman, an Italian, was simply fulfilling her dead brother’s last wish, to be taken from the place of his death, Sao Paulo, and buried in his homeland’s soil. And she had the documentation from the Brazilian government to prove it - a very important point, as authorities are not known for relying solely on verbal explanations where skeletal remains are concerned.

Woman Stopped Over Skeleton in Luggage